


Holding on to a good thing

by AlAngel



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, h/c, sweet end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 04:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlAngel/pseuds/AlAngel
Summary: Request: Hello! Hope you’re well! If you have time, can I request a reader x Clint Barton where they both get drunk and Clint admits he likes her / they sleep together.? But then the reader sneaks away because she also likes him but thinks it was because he was drunk and she is just a one-night stand to him. Maybe he tracks her down after? Thanks so much Love xRequest: Hiya! Can you do a Reader x Clint where they get into an argument and he throws up his arms/steps forward or something and Reader flinches as if she though he would hit her and it breaks his heart? Thank you





	Holding on to a good thing

Title: Holding on to a good thing

Pairing: Clint Barton x female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k (how did this happen?)

Warnings: angst, h/c, sweet end

Request: Hello! Hope you’re well! If you have time, can I request a reader x Clint Barton where they both get drunk and Clint admits he likes her / they sleep together.? But then the reader sneaks away because she also likes him but thinks it was because he was drunk and she is just a one-night stand to him. Maybe he tracks her down after? Thanks so much Love x

Request: Hiya! Can you do a Reader x Clint where they get into an argument and he throws up his arms/steps forward or something and Reader flinches as if she though he would hit her and it breaks his heart? Thank you

....

You woke up with a solid chest against your back and an arm draped over your middle, the soft breathing into your neck almost lulled you back to sleep. This was the safest you felt in years. You knew the arms and even without seeing it you recognized the chest. So your eyes closed once more relaxing into the warmth from behind you.

Your peace and quiet was ruined as soon as you felt sleep come back over you, the sleep brought memories and flashes of last night. In a split second you felt trapped instead of safe and your eyes shot open once more, now fully awake. You felt naked and vulnerable, how could you let that happen?

“(Y/n)” The whiny voice of your friend and fellow Avenger pleaded “Don’t leave me.”

“You’ll pass out as soon as you hit the bed” You informed Clint with a kind smile “Get some sleep and we have a slumber party some other time.”

“Pleeeassse?” His eyes turned into a puppy dog pleading and your heart skipped a small beat. Damn did he look cute like that. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with a bit too much to drink, normally you had a better grip on your feelings for Clint.

“Nah come on” You smiled again “Its bed time for my favourite archer”

“I’m your favourite?” A loose and happy smile spread over his often stoic and brooding face. You loved it when he smiled and it reached his eyes, he seemed so much younger and less guarded then. Truth be told you had worked with Clint for years even before the Avengers but he never shared more than strictly necessary about his past.

“You’re the only archer, dummy” You giggled “Of course you’re my favourite.”

“But if we had someone else I’d still be your favourite?” He asked the smile dimmed a little instead he looked at you curious and a bit hopeful. With a look like that anyone would say anything to make him smile again, so without having to think about it you nodded. Clint would always be your favourite everything.

“You’re my favourite too” He declared and suddenly you felt yourself pulled into an awkward drunk hug right outside his room. The two of you stumbled a little, both not exactly on the sober side, till your back hit the wall and Clint still hang into the hug. You could smell his unique scent while his soft blond hair tickled your ear.

As awkward as it felt you didn’t even consider letting go. Clint was seldom someone to show affection. The only times you saw that he really cared about you and your well-being was when you got hurt. His eyes would always hold a throwing haunted expression then as if he blamed himself every time you got a scratch.

Every other time you two spent time together he was always at least to some extent guarded. Sure you had fun goofing around in HQ and back in the days scaring baby agents and annoying Coulson had been something you were well known for around SHIELD, but it still felt hard calling someone your true friend when they didn’t share anything personal besides their name.

“You smell nice” Clint suddenly said into your hair “And you look pretty. Though I think you look even hotter when you take out bad guys in tight suits.”

His words took you back. What was he saying? You pulled back a little, but his strong arms clang onto you not wanting to part with you.

“Clint what are you doing?”

“Holding on to something good in my life” He whispered almost broken “Stay?” His hands wandered lower on your back till he hold onto your hip. While he drew small circle on your hip bones he pulled his head back a little so you got a good look into his eyes. What you saw made your heart melt his eyes were so full of hope and something else soft, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away and tell him to sober up when he leaned in and his lips met yours.

It shouldn’t bring tears to your eyes to have slept with the man you loved with all your heart but it did as you sneaked out of his room. You felt ashamed for letting yourself carve his affections and touch enough to melt into his drunk arms. Clearly you were barley friends and he didn’t see you the way you saw him. If Clint had feelings for any of his co-workers it would have to be Natasha who looked absolutely stunning in everything and who was twice the bad ass you’d ever be. No man with eyes would want to be with you if he knew her.

With all the doubts in mind you did your walk of shame back to your room. Luckily no one was up after last night’s outing, everyone still sleeping off the alcohol or already in the gym. Good for you since you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, all worked up and ready to run.

Actually running didn’t seem too bad, it would at least prevent you from having to face Clint. He would know you weren’t sleeping with him because of the alcohol but despite it. He would know and pity you for falling for him. Because he was a good man but not into you.

Suddenly there was a knock on your door and you jumped, your heart racing. No! You weren’t ready to get kicked out if the tender friendship that mattered most to you in the world. So you did the first thing that came to mind, you ran. Climbing the vents wasn’t as hard as people would think, the really difficult part was being quiet, but Clint taught you well. In a matter of seconds you were up in the ceilings and at the other end of the floor.

“Has anyone seen (y/n)?” Steve asked at lunch when finally even the last member of the Avengers decided to leave their room and face the world again.

“No” Some mumbled while others starred into their coffee, not ready to communicate yet. Bruce met Steve’s confused eyes shaking his head.

“I wanted to drop some stuff by her room earlier but she wasn’t there” Steve explained looking around at all of your team members. He noticed Clint’s downcast look while Nat shot him accusing glares, sometimes Steve wished he’d understand their dynamics but they would probably always be a mystery. Spies. (Y/n) was the only one who seemed to get their dynamics, probably because she was an agent of SHIELD as well and came as part of the package. However where Clint and Nat seemed distant and uncaring at times, she was always warm. With her Steve felt like not all spies were calculating and untrustworthy.

“She’ll turn up” Tony shrugged after he gulped down coffee four, finally back to the real world. “Didn’t she take your drunk ass home, bird brain? She has to be somewhere.”

“We’ll see” Nat mused still staring at Clint “but I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“What do you mean?” Steve barrowed his eyes at her. Why did spies always have to be so cryptic?

“It’s a spy thing” Nat smiled at him before taking another sip of her tea.

It was the middle of the second night since you jumped up and decided to run, but you still didn’t know where to go. So far you’d been out and around the vents never staying still too long since you knew both Clint and Nat would find you in a heartbeat. Therefore you were running low on sleep and your stomach clenched, but you didn’t dare going into the kitchen because that would be the easiest way to wait you out. Yesterday you stole some crackers you knew Tony wouldn’t miss from his lab, but since then you hadn’t come up with any other unnoticeable food source. You just didn’t know where to go. The Avengers were the best thing that ever happened to you, but none of them could help against the inevitable rejection and heart break. maybe you had let your guard down too much around all of them anyway, a couple of years back you wouldn’t have thought twice about moving to the other end of the states and leaving all of this behind. Now you couldn’t imagine not waking up to Steve and Tony shouting at each other because one just got up and the other was on his way to bed, fighting over appropriate sleep schedules. They were the closest you had to family.

Suddenly you rounded a vent corner and heard some rustling noise, instantly you stilled. You weren’t alone anymore. The noise however moved away from you, growing distant. You exhaled softly, glad to have gotten away one more time, before you slowly continued your way ahead. After the next corner your eyes landed on something white in the middle of the corridor. Suspiciously you approached it and immediately your stomach clenched at the sight of cookies on a shining plate. So they knew you hadn’t left yet. Bound to make your way past the food to not give away your desperation for food and whereabouts you noticed a small slip of paper on it. Huh. Reluctantly you picked it up, recognizing the sharp and on point handwriting of Nat. “I kicked his ass for being an idiot. You can come back out.” You scowled at the note. What was that supposed to mean? After a moment of surprise your confusion was replaced by anger, you liked Nat and trusted her like you trusted only a handful of other people, but that didn’t mean you needed someone to fight your fights. Clint Barton and your stupid feelings were your problem not hers. Finally having made up your mind on what to do, you decided to leave the vents and talk to Clint - You could always go and run after that.

“We need to talk” You stated as the door to Clint’s room slipped open later that night, you had been waiting for him in absolute darkness, ready to face whatever was to come.

“You’re back?” Clint didn’t bother with the light switch, he knew you, knew your voice, knew your most likely whereabouts in a room. All he had was the relief that you weren’t gone, something you picked up from his voice clear as day.

“I’m here to talk” You stated flatly, not ready to open up completely.

“Can I start?” Clint asked quietly, his eyes getting used to the darkness so he could make out your figure in one of the chairs, back to the bed the two of you had shared. Knowing that he could see you by now you nodded for him to start.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have drunken so much. Shouldn’t have done the things I did.”

“So you regret it?” You voice didn’t even falter, you wanted - no you needed - to know. It would make turning around and leaving so much easier. And right now you were ready to leave this mess and your soon to be broken heart behind.

“Of course.” Clint said trying to meet your eyes despite the darkness, but you wouldn’t let him, you heard enough after all. The man you loved regretted being with you that seemed like a good enough reason to go.

“I’m sorry too” You said, sorry for letting myself be carried away by the illusion that you actually wanted me. “Can you tell Steve in the morning I quit - I have a funny feeling Jarvis would tell on me before I get a chance to leave the tower.”

With as much dignity as you could come up with after Clint’s words, you rose from your chair not sparing his bed a look. In your head you already wrote your letter of resignation for both your team leadership leaders and Fury.

Suddenly there was a strong grip on your upper arm, when you looked up you were met with Clint’s furious eyes. Never before had you seen so much fire and passion in his eyes, it intrigued and scared you at the same time.

“What do you want?” His voice was a growl, the anger towards you evident in both his stance and his normally beautiful calm eyes “I worried two days that you’d run away, gone forever. Then you finally turn up and I can apologize for being a drunk idiot and now you tell me you actually want to leave?!” There was a sudden movement in the corner of your eyes and instinct kicked in. Fast movements of the arms didn’t mean good in your line of work, in a heartbeat you brought extra distance between you and Clint and your own arms were raised to defend yourself.

Clint’s face drained of every colour when he saw you backing away from him, fear written over your face. What had he done to you? You had always been a sweet, yet admittedly deadly, woman. But although knowing exactly what you could do to kill a man, he had always liked that sweetness in you. You were stubborn and determined, but would go out of your way for the people that mattered to you. What did he do to make that sweet girl fear him?

“Sorry. Sorry.” Clint babbled holding up both his hands to let you know where they were and that he didn’t mean to hurt you. All he wanted to do was throw his hands up in frustration with your unreasonable strange behaviour, all he wanted was for you to go back to the way you were before he messed up your friendship.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He coaxed you “Please, (y/n), we… can we talk? I don’t want you to go.”

You had observed how his anger had drained in seconds and how it had been replaced with regret. But you were still wary, never have you seen Clint so furious.

“There’s nothing to talk” You said softly, backing away a little more.

“Please.” Clint sounded raw and emotional “Please don’t go away. I’ll move out, I’ll never set a foot in this tower again, but don’t go. This is your family. They need you.” You heard the unspoken ‘I need you’ as clear as day, although it didn’t make sense.

“Clint…”

“I’ll beg you if I have to. (Y/n), you mean too much to me I couldn’t live with myself knowing I’m the reason you ran away from the one good thing that could happen to people like us. I can’t let you turn your back on the people you for once trust.”

He sounded heart broken and sorry, almost like you felt inside. But he didn’t understand, no matter how sweet he was right now, he wouldn’t see you how you saw him. It was time to come to terms with that.

Carefully you crossed the distance between the two of you, a hand cradling his cheek. His eyes met yours in confusion as you placed your lips on his pouring all the emotion you felt into that one brief farewell kiss. You let yourself melt into the kiss a tiny bit more before pulling away to meet his eyes once more. “I can’t stay”

“No. Please. Stay with me” His voice barely louder than w whisper “Because I could never let you go even if I wanted. You mean the world to me. Pleas, let me hold onto this. You, us. Let me hold on to this one good thing in my life.”

“Clint…” Before you could protest further, he brought his lips to yours once more. This time there was no trace of the fiery and needy passion from your shared night, instead his kiss showed the same emotion and hint of desperation your farewell kiss had.

Maybe both of you weren’t good at talking things out, but your lips still said the crucial thing anyway. “I love you, (Y/n)”


End file.
